Saturday, February 25, 2006 @3:05 AM
Is weird how ,after picking up dancing i neglect pple ard me,ppl whom i use to care for,Who was in my life 8 to 19 years of my life.I forget.I'm reaaly angry with myself.First i cldn't go out for dinner with my dad on his b'dae.Yesterday i forgot my mum's b'dae.I could see she was upset cuz i didn't wish her,I lied to her told her i send her a message,maybe my phone screwed tats y u didnt receive it.I wanted to get her a present but wat abt my dad's whos b'dae past a month alr,should i get him a present?Its ridiculous!Will he get jealous if i don't?But to get one now is so bloody insincere.What shld i do to cover my guilt with.nothing?Let it fade?Maybe i can do it on father's and mother's day?I'm so torn.
My birthday is coming my dearest friends wants me to celebrate it with them.Guess what i'm not free any 1 of the days i have classes from morning to night.I have to apply leave for my BDAE!My life suddenly dun make sense.I had a goal to be a dancer but acheiving this goal means hurting n neglecting pple around issit worth it.My life can't be complete being a dancer with no family or friends.What can i do.I ran too far off its too hard to find a balance.