Is weird how ,after picking up dancing i neglect pple ard me,ppl whom i use to care for,Who was in my life 8 to 19 years of my life.I forget.I'm reaaly angry with myself.First i cldn't go out for dinner with my dad on his b'dae.Yesterday i forgot my mum's b'dae.I could see she was upset cuz i didn't wish her,I lied to her told her i send her a message,maybe my phone screwed tats y u didnt receive it.I wanted to get her a present but wat abt my dad's whos b'dae past a month alr,should i get him a present?Its ridiculous!Will he get jealous if i don't?But to get one now is so bloody insincere.What shld i do to cover my guilt with.nothing?Let it fade?Maybe i can do it on father's and mother's day?I'm so torn.
My birthday is coming my dearest friends wants me to celebrate it with them.Guess what i'm not free any 1 of the days i have classes from morning to night.I have to apply leave for my BDAE!My life suddenly dun make sense.I had a goal to be a dancer but acheiving this goal means hurting n neglecting pple around issit worth it.My life can't be complete being a dancer with no family or friends.What can i do.I ran too far off its too hard to find a balance.
Yeah i have met 1 1/2 goals cuz one of them i can only do 1 side
1.i'm flat to the ground for side split le no more little faort canning
2.I can do triple jazz turn on my right only so half way le
Hehe so happy !That totally made my day can't stop smiling to myself it feels better then falling in love.Gasp.
God pls forgive me for destroying your art of nature.I destroyed papi's furcoat he looks deshaveled.LOL.That poor creature what has he done to deserve a owner like me.LOL.
Tonight i'll be heading down to crystal jade to at xia long bao yeah!
I wake up in the morning ask my mum for money,ask grandma for food then put i go to school.Come home everybody is aslp.So i slp too.so i think i say abt less then 10 lines in a day to my family members.i'm not the only one.My family seems to only talk to each other only when they need something.Never for no good reasons,crack a joke.Everybody is so hostile.Peculiar isn't it.
I wonder deep down inside that small fragile body of my grandpa.Whether he is feeling alright.Its nv common in my family to express love,care and concern out loud but i can see it.Although i hate my grandparents nagging.But their like my robots who never fails to remind me to bring my things,remind me that i'll be late my alarm clock.
I'll miss them if they go i'm worried i can't take it haha.I have not met death neither hv i been thru the death of a loved one.Yes my relatives pass away one by one but i'm nv as close to them as i am to my grandparents,sometimes i feel that even if my parents go i might not even feel it.
| You Are a Flashy Red Bra! |
 Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating. You're a charmer, with your pick of the men. But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are. You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests! |
My gosh i sound like some wild hore or something ewel
P.S : I can count the amount of bones on my ribcage!
Its super tiring with those slopes.But it seems like i'm improving.Went jogging today i remember last year near october running towards potong pasir the chao long kang then back .Today i ran all the way to potong pasir then ran back from the bridge ,reaching the industrial park,then home.A slighty longer route i dunnoe how many metres but my timing was only 20mins.My aim is to run to potong pasir pass char's place then run back home.Give me till april.
Thanks raoul for the purple roses.
Selnor is like the sweetest serenade to me early in the morning love at first sight by blues *gasp,and his red roses.
Went out with the girls to acid bar't.Haven't had a girls night out in such a long time its to die for.Havent been so bitchy in a long time.I was like the most unglam one there thanks the ugliest.
P.S my most exhausting day ever i'm starting to break apart............
The title says it all.I tremendously lost weight over the weejend i'm fucking skinny..YEE...Weird isnt it i purposely ate more the wat i'm use to so that i wldn't lose weight but its not working.I'm going on a fat filled diet!
Argh!i have to make choices everyday from family to friends,friends to religion,religion to dance,dance to myself.Its so difficult.Eveything ,everyone its so important.How to decide!!...Argh i can't take it I have no life my friends are there but not there cause i dun have time for them.argh so agitated.Y can't everything just fall into place.I hate making choice like this everyday to fullfil my commitment and to push myself further in dance i alws upset someone else...argh!!!!!!!!!!!!
My silly teacher drew my eyebrows together cuz he was inexperienced
The irish hairy man,They simplified the make up
Sak the cool indian girl who steals army clothes.Shes dramatic
Some other puppets
More hairy man and puppets
Hafis on the left and his best friend on my right.Their huge lah
Lucinda and me
THe hip and groovy percussionist.Haha u guys rock.
I realise as we grow up we become more and more indpendent.Maybe its just me.Nowadays when i have a problem I would solve it myself.In the past a small matter must find my best friend to talk to.If not will die.but talks nowadays is more of informing ,updating a friend instead of finding an answer.
As u grow older ur skin gets thinner.Maybe were becoming aware of wat others are sayingbehindour backs.I usually have something to tell a person i'm too worried to say.I don't know whether the impression ur giving me is real,thus i'm afraid to express.
Now i understand what adults mean by"i rather be a kid"
OMG its so funyet tiring.I painted my face fully white 2 red dots on my cheeks and super thick arched eyebrows and MOUSTACHE.I look like those tradition trishaw man.LOL.Its really ugly but fun.U dun get to be stupid and shameless w/o feeling embarassed in front of a big crowd everyday.HAHA.Ran ard in a sarong thingy school shoes and a big banner.My sarong flew and showed my sexy legs lol.The wind was going against my flag i nearly flew off my feet.Jumped,run,waved and smiled frantically at the audience.Its really dumb but an unforgettable experience.
I enjoyed myself at char's place.Met the church gang.Nick's attached *yeah,Muei is losing weight,Char has a new date-ahm,Kenneth has a new friend,Russ the orange kum-guat lol.People change so fast ,were all starting to realise were older haha.
Went to watch the "Memoirs of the Geisha" it was intresting to know that pros still can b high class.It reminds me how much guys needs a girl.Peculiar isn't it,Although theres gays,lesbians, and homos,bis.But we still need a girl or a man.eg.father mother.
missed..............